This Monster in me Makes me Retch

Posted by Comman_Anomaly | Posted in | Posted on Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I was watching Girl, Interrupted today & it got me seriously thinking:
inside I am just like Lisa. I am an angry bitch, an angry bitch that just needs to be ticked-off.
I imagine what it'd be like to go off & tell everyone to fuck off, that maybe I don't want to be the world's version of normal.
If I had no social inhibitions I'd act much like her, blow smoke in people's faces & flirt shamelessly with the guards. Oh, sorry is this not 'allowed?'
I so motherf!cking sick of being shy, I'm sick of giving a rat's ass what people think.
I'd love, I'd LOVE to throw my voice out screaming all night at a hospital staff or whoever will listen. It gets so unfufilling shouting to myself, writing to myself.

I actually thought about coming out of my room tonight & screaming at everyone.
Not just imagined myself doing, it but briefly considered it.


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