Lots of rambling
Posted by Comman_Anomaly | Posted in | Posted on Monday, January 25, 2010
Okay so I have been thinking about the whole bipolar thing, yes no maybe, but I don't think I've ever been hypomanic, but then again most people don't take as much notice to their ups as their downs.
But if I have never had an up "episode" before, I did yesterday.
On the way to my meeting, just all of a sudden I was so elated, tranquil though, not really you energetic, just like someone had hit me with a shot of Valium or whatever. Just feeling, so good, warm all over. Then when I got there I got alot more restless, I was tapping my foot like crazy, everyone was so pretty, I never noticed! I guess I was a little more social, not crazy social though because of course it's still me, but you know I read out of the book easily! No blushing!
And then after I talked to my sponsor, I'm not really mad at her anymore (why was I mad? so what she has a good life?) & told her about the bipolar thing & etc. although I didn't mention how high I was feeling. But it was weird because I kept going from quietly euphoric, peaceful to up & trying to repress laughter (yes I remembered Katrina! she was here before & she had electrolyte water & kept beating herself up!) & then I sunk back to a good normal, still thinking fast, maybe not as energetic, then normal (scared that I may be sad again soon), then back to peacefully elated, then hyper happy.
Just wow, I don't know if that had ever happened before, but wouldn't it be weird that as soon as I start keeping a mood chart & wondering about being bipolar I get an "episode?" Gotta be a god thing, yes take some new meds!
I did sleep though, they say you don't need as much sleep. When I got home I was still going through the motions & did feel physically tired, although my head was still restless & I was all fidgety, but hey my body said it was time to sleep & I did. Easily, nice really.
And today I woke up feeling really good, then back to normal now I bit up again.
And you know, this did happen when I was all sad & gloomy, I went from horribly depressed to okay but still down, to a bit hyper & sad.
So I am just enjoying whatever this is, it feels good to feel good. :D
But if I have never had an up "episode" before, I did yesterday.
On the way to my meeting, just all of a sudden I was so elated, tranquil though, not really you energetic, just like someone had hit me with a shot of Valium or whatever. Just feeling, so good, warm all over. Then when I got there I got alot more restless, I was tapping my foot like crazy, everyone was so pretty, I never noticed! I guess I was a little more social, not crazy social though because of course it's still me, but you know I read out of the book easily! No blushing!
And then after I talked to my sponsor, I'm not really mad at her anymore (why was I mad? so what she has a good life?) & told her about the bipolar thing & etc. although I didn't mention how high I was feeling. But it was weird because I kept going from quietly euphoric, peaceful to up & trying to repress laughter (yes I remembered Katrina! she was here before & she had electrolyte water & kept beating herself up!) & then I sunk back to a good normal, still thinking fast, maybe not as energetic, then normal (scared that I may be sad again soon), then back to peacefully elated, then hyper happy.
Just wow, I don't know if that had ever happened before, but wouldn't it be weird that as soon as I start keeping a mood chart & wondering about being bipolar I get an "episode?" Gotta be a god thing, yes take some new meds!
I did sleep though, they say you don't need as much sleep. When I got home I was still going through the motions & did feel physically tired, although my head was still restless & I was all fidgety, but hey my body said it was time to sleep & I did. Easily, nice really.
And today I woke up feeling really good, then back to normal now I bit up again.
And you know, this did happen when I was all sad & gloomy, I went from horribly depressed to okay but still down, to a bit hyper & sad.
So I am just enjoying whatever this is, it feels good to feel good. :D
You're a psychosomatic teen full of angst - accept the fact that this makes you exactly like every other adolescent in the country.
Exactly like every other teen, pretty much. Self-absorbed & dramatic, yes. But no need to hate anon.