Gloomy
Posted by Comman_Anomaly | Posted in | Posted on Monday, January 18, 2010
I began taking Remeron & it sucked, made me feel like a zombie, numb & hungry as hell.
I'm still not any better, not a lick, sucks 'cause I had hoped the Remeron would be be a turn for better, but it was a dud. I did get to go to my meeting yesterday, but oh I don't know.
I just can't go forward, all I see is myself being stripped away, being made into an extroverted, engaging, sweetie-sweet kind of person, someone I'm not. "Oh but that won't happen, you'll still be you...... you'll be super-happy, have love....." bla, bla, bla. It's ever harder when you're in love with your pain, you see it as a tragic beauty of some sort. I think I'm relapsing, restricting again.
I'm so tired of thinking, analyzing every thing about myself, to the point where I can't sleep at night, it's killing me. I don't want to think, I want to just rest.
I'm still not any better, not a lick, sucks 'cause I had hoped the Remeron would be be a turn for better, but it was a dud. I did get to go to my meeting yesterday, but oh I don't know.
I just can't go forward, all I see is myself being stripped away, being made into an extroverted, engaging, sweetie-sweet kind of person, someone I'm not. "Oh but that won't happen, you'll still be you...... you'll be super-happy, have love....." bla, bla, bla. It's ever harder when you're in love with your pain, you see it as a tragic beauty of some sort. I think I'm relapsing, restricting again.
I'm so tired of thinking, analyzing every thing about myself, to the point where I can't sleep at night, it's killing me. I don't want to think, I want to just rest.
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