Too much feeling
Posted by Comman_Anomaly | Posted in | Posted on Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Have you ever felt so sick of being alive? Not that I want to die, I'm not suicidal, but just so tired of having to feel? I wish I had no emotions & could detach like I used to, but now I feel that I cannot go back. I hate these strong emotions, I just want calm peace. It has been a very long time since I have felt a genuine happiness. Sure I'll have good days, I'm not on the brink of crying all the time but my overall sense of stability in myself & the future is non-existent.
I am also becoming increasingly annoyed by having to have a sponsor, I have no faith in her having any sympathy at all with my non-eating issues. I feel like it is such a thorn in my side to have to call her & apparently I'm supposed to go into detail about my "stuff."
That's what I have a therapist for!
Ugh, doesn't help either that I'm interpreting all this as a larger stomach which by the way looked huge lastnight I could not stand it, then after I calmed down a bit I realised it wasn't great but not that bad.
*Bangs head against desk*
I am also becoming increasingly annoyed by having to have a sponsor, I have no faith in her having any sympathy at all with my non-eating issues. I feel like it is such a thorn in my side to have to call her & apparently I'm supposed to go into detail about my "stuff."
That's what I have a therapist for!
Ugh, doesn't help either that I'm interpreting all this as a larger stomach which by the way looked huge lastnight I could not stand it, then after I calmed down a bit I realised it wasn't great but not that bad.
*Bangs head against desk*
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