Back at last!
Posted by Comman_Anomaly | Posted in | Posted on Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Internet is FINALLY back on! *Cheers*
So I did something so completely un-schizoid & mushy; I cried in front of my parents.
Embarrassing of course, because I am supposed to be the good one, the rock with no problems.
I'm glad I did it, it sucked but at least it's over & I have a new lease on everything.
You know, like a week or so ago I was beginning to relapse into my anorexic self, I didn't see why not. There was no phone, no Internet, my sponsor was out of town even when I did get a chance to call. Made me sick to think of the fact that I crumple into myself when I have no outside contacts.
Only one I do have regardless of electronic or other modern communication is the universe which I call my higher power. I was bouncing in between utter commitment to recovery & complete relapse. I was too overcome by memories by the crap that starvation got me into so thankfully I am now back you could say.
You know it's still uncomfortable to talk about my real self like this, like an ingrown toenail or that awkward feeling when you trim a fingernail too short & the sensitive skin in exposed.
I am much more interested in my other world right now, Laynie has no clue that her boyfriend's cousin has fallen madly in love with her. Ha! Genius!
;)
So I did something so completely un-schizoid & mushy; I cried in front of my parents.
Embarrassing of course, because I am supposed to be the good one, the rock with no problems.
I'm glad I did it, it sucked but at least it's over & I have a new lease on everything.
You know, like a week or so ago I was beginning to relapse into my anorexic self, I didn't see why not. There was no phone, no Internet, my sponsor was out of town even when I did get a chance to call. Made me sick to think of the fact that I crumple into myself when I have no outside contacts.
Only one I do have regardless of electronic or other modern communication is the universe which I call my higher power. I was bouncing in between utter commitment to recovery & complete relapse. I was too overcome by memories by the crap that starvation got me into so thankfully I am now back you could say.
You know it's still uncomfortable to talk about my real self like this, like an ingrown toenail or that awkward feeling when you trim a fingernail too short & the sensitive skin in exposed.
I am much more interested in my other world right now, Laynie has no clue that her boyfriend's cousin has fallen madly in love with her. Ha! Genius!
;)
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